gumby and narkissos, you're advice really gives me something to think about. i might have been a little hasty in deciding to come forward with doubts at this meeting. i really want to stick up for what i believe in, but at the same time, in this organization, the consequences for that can be disastrous. if i can fade and keep it somewhat under the radar, that seems to be the best way to go, but i'm not exactly sure how to go about it....
red so deep
JoinedPosts by red so deep
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23
friend getting DFed tonight and my upcoming meeting....
by red so deep inwell it looks like my friend's dfing is getting announced tonight.
she decided not to try an appeal because she really doesn't want the stress of telling the story all over again, and she's heard horror stories from one of her friends that was dfed about 12 elder appeal committies and whatnot.
i've really been trying to help her out and let her know that it's going to be incredibly difficult but that i'll be there for her even though i'm baptized (when i was 11 years old..great decision...) pretty much all of her friends will be cut off from her, except for the few "worldly" friends she has, but it doesn't sound like her mom will really allow any association with them either.... so we'll see how the weeks ahead turn out... i also have a meeting thursday night with two elders in my hall.
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23
friend getting DFed tonight and my upcoming meeting....
by red so deep inwell it looks like my friend's dfing is getting announced tonight.
she decided not to try an appeal because she really doesn't want the stress of telling the story all over again, and she's heard horror stories from one of her friends that was dfed about 12 elder appeal committies and whatnot.
i've really been trying to help her out and let her know that it's going to be incredibly difficult but that i'll be there for her even though i'm baptized (when i was 11 years old..great decision...) pretty much all of her friends will be cut off from her, except for the few "worldly" friends she has, but it doesn't sound like her mom will really allow any association with them either.... so we'll see how the weeks ahead turn out... i also have a meeting thursday night with two elders in my hall.
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red so deep
ugh...she's going to the meeting because if she wants to get reinstated later, she heard that being there at your disfellowshipping "displays humility". yeah, humbly subjecting yourself to the decision of the holy spirit (i.e dumbass elders who had it in for her anyways)
i just feel an obligation to explain myself to these elders, not because they're elders, but because they've been good friends to me and my family since i can remember....
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friend getting DFed tonight and my upcoming meeting....
by red so deep inwell it looks like my friend's dfing is getting announced tonight.
she decided not to try an appeal because she really doesn't want the stress of telling the story all over again, and she's heard horror stories from one of her friends that was dfed about 12 elder appeal committies and whatnot.
i've really been trying to help her out and let her know that it's going to be incredibly difficult but that i'll be there for her even though i'm baptized (when i was 11 years old..great decision...) pretty much all of her friends will be cut off from her, except for the few "worldly" friends she has, but it doesn't sound like her mom will really allow any association with them either.... so we'll see how the weeks ahead turn out... i also have a meeting thursday night with two elders in my hall.
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red so deep
hey everyone, thanks a bunch for the support! all this happening now would be terribly difficult without you guys!
well, as for the announcement tonight, i belong to a different congregation than the one my friend goes to, so i probably will have to attend a different meeting. but she is planning on going and sitting in the back room and leaving after the announcement is made. it is going to be crazy there, because she has a lot of family in the hall and plenty of people are going to be shocked i'm sure. it's such BS too, because the local needs after a DF'ing is always about what the person got DF'ed for, so that's just going to be another slap in her face.
as for my meeting, well, i'd like to be kinda vague about everything, but i feel like i should give some explanation for why i haven't been out in service or at the meetings...and i'd really like to come forward with my problems with the org. sooner or later. if it comes to that point though, i would much rather DA myself then get DF'ed for my doubts. but i still have alot to think about, and i guess we'll just see how things end up.
but thanks again everyone! i'm so grateful to have people that understand life in the org and the experiences of those who have left it as well!
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23
friend getting DFed tonight and my upcoming meeting....
by red so deep inwell it looks like my friend's dfing is getting announced tonight.
she decided not to try an appeal because she really doesn't want the stress of telling the story all over again, and she's heard horror stories from one of her friends that was dfed about 12 elder appeal committies and whatnot.
i've really been trying to help her out and let her know that it's going to be incredibly difficult but that i'll be there for her even though i'm baptized (when i was 11 years old..great decision...) pretty much all of her friends will be cut off from her, except for the few "worldly" friends she has, but it doesn't sound like her mom will really allow any association with them either.... so we'll see how the weeks ahead turn out... i also have a meeting thursday night with two elders in my hall.
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red so deep
well it looks like my friend's DFing is getting announced tonight. she decided not to try an appeal because she really doesn't want the stress of telling the story all over again, and she's heard horror stories from one of her friends that was DFed about 12 elder appeal committies and whatnot. i've really been trying to help her out and let her know that it's going to be incredibly difficult but that i'll be there for her even though i'm baptized (when i was 11 years old..great decision...) pretty much all of her friends will be cut off from her, except for the few "worldly" friends she has, but it doesn't sound like her mom will really allow any association with them either.... so we'll see how the weeks ahead turn out..
i also have a meeting thursday night with two elders in my hall. i'm under the impression that it's for "encouragement" but i think i'll probably come forward with some of my doubts about the WT to explain my waning interest in "kingdom matters." i probably shouldn't whip out the UN scandal or any of that type stuff because i highly doubt they would know anything about it and would just call my blasphemy crazy. ughh..this should be an intersting week....
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12
i can't believe this.....
by red so deep inwell, looks like one of my best friends is getting df'ed.
unbelievable.. aah, to begin with, her parents split up when she was about 11 and her dad is more or less a deadbeat who wasn't really a part of her life even when she was suicidal....and her mom is rarely there for her, and sometimes gets drunk and physically abusive.
her mom remarried and she lives with her and her stepdad who are never at home.
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red so deep
i too, was shocked when i found out that she was going to be DFed. she is so sorry for what she's done, she was crying through the entire meeting. i know for a fact that if they say the she was DFed cause of unrepentance that it's bullshit. i'm really struggling to see how they can think that this is whats best....
i've been there for her as much as i can be. heh, i "snuck out" of my house last night at 2 am (the same night as the judicial meeting) to go talk to her, and we've spent hours talking about everything since it happened... i'm just really worried that after the announcement is read, my association with her will be cut off completely. not that i really care about breaking WT law; i would have no qualms about getting DFed for associating with a disfellowshipped person, it's just i think that would make her feel even MORE guilty.
Elsewhere, it's funny that you should mention jesus association with prostitutes and tax collectors, cause i actually brought that up when i was talking to her last night. i'm going to try to help her make sense of all of this, especially since i really think she's being disfellowshipped wrongfully. i don't know where all this will take me, hell, if i go to the elders and make a fuss about it who knows, i might be DFed next!
but thank all of you here very much, it really helps to talk to people who have been through this type of thing before!
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12
i can't believe this.....
by red so deep inwell, looks like one of my best friends is getting df'ed.
unbelievable.. aah, to begin with, her parents split up when she was about 11 and her dad is more or less a deadbeat who wasn't really a part of her life even when she was suicidal....and her mom is rarely there for her, and sometimes gets drunk and physically abusive.
her mom remarried and she lives with her and her stepdad who are never at home.
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red so deep
well, looks like one of my best friends is getting DF'ed. unbelievable.
aah, to begin with, her parents split up when she was about 11 and her dad is more or less a deadbeat who wasn't really a part of her life even when she was suicidal....and her mom is rarely there for her, and sometimes gets drunk and physically abusive. her mom remarried and she lives with her and her stepdad who are never at home. well, long story short, mainly because of her loneliness she met this guy on the internet who lives in town, and even though she had no intention to do anything sexually, things went a bit too far. i can't even begin to express how guilty and sincerely repentant she is for what happened. she felt terrible about it and told her mom, who in turn, made her tell the elders.
the comittee was made up of the traditional 3 elders, only one of them is a new elder who already doesn't like her. apparently, throughout the whole meeting, they questioned her about EVERYTHING that happened, and then began to tear into her for her for her immodest and provocative dress and grooming at the kingdom hall and elsewhere. there is honestly nothing wrong with the way she dresses, it's just that she doesn't dress like the more "mature" women in the hall. (i.e fugly 80's, button up to the neck dresses) They said that her immodesty was also probably a part of why she got into trouble in the first place. so then they deliberated for and hour and a half and then passed the verdict that she would be disfellowshipped. then they asked her to excuse herself while they prayed with her parents. how unbelievable is that!
the thing is, is that she really believes that this is what jehovah wants to happen and she is determined to try to learn from the experience and get back into the organization as soon as she can. i just can't help but think that taking everything away from her at this time in her life, which is already insane enough, is going to be good for her at all. i'm just so worried and i don't know how to help her, or what i can really do in this situation. the announcement will be made this tuesday and then that's it. i can't believe this....what the hell can i do?
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35
stuck in!
by red so deep inwell, this is my first post here, and i'm kind of doing it in secret, cause i know if my parents knew of my "poisoning myself with apostates" they would not be happy at all.
anyways, my story is; i'm 17, i've been brought up "in the truth" my whole life, and now i'm starting to question the wt and christianity in general, and i have nobody to talk to about it.
i feel awkward about talking to my witness friends about it, cause i worry that if i speak out against the organazition and the wrong people (i.e; young ones around here that would never think of questioning the society) hear about it, it might result in my punishment (reproof or dfing).
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red so deep
wow. thanks again for the words of encouragement, it really means alot to me. i fully agree with all the suggestions made here, especially about college. i'm also going to visit some relatives in florida this fall/winter for a while, so that will be nice to get away from the JW routine for a while. and my grandma, who i'm going there to visit, is inactive, and when she visited us here recently, she was very supportive of my searching about religion outside of JW literature. she was baptized, but never has done anything to merit disfellowshipping, but just drifted from the organization because of the hypocricies and the somewhat militant routine of "faithful witnesses." i was very happy to find out that, now free from the organization, she was there for the 1st birthday of my little cousin, who is obviously from a non-JW family.
anways, i just wanted to say thanks again, and it's wonderful seeing people outside of the organization showing the unconditional love and support that the JWs could never give!
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35
stuck in!
by red so deep inwell, this is my first post here, and i'm kind of doing it in secret, cause i know if my parents knew of my "poisoning myself with apostates" they would not be happy at all.
anyways, my story is; i'm 17, i've been brought up "in the truth" my whole life, and now i'm starting to question the wt and christianity in general, and i have nobody to talk to about it.
i feel awkward about talking to my witness friends about it, cause i worry that if i speak out against the organazition and the wrong people (i.e; young ones around here that would never think of questioning the society) hear about it, it might result in my punishment (reproof or dfing).
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red so deep
wow, i cannot believe the support that all you wonderful people have given! all the experiences you guys have given i can relate to so well. especially the ones about feigning sickness to get out of talks/meetings/etc....i think the suggestions about college are excellent, and i am planning on attending a music school... and i fortunately already have a great job (unfortunately my boss is a witness) and am planning on moving out upon turning 18. i can't belive however, the crass disregard for my eternal happiness when you suggested secondary education instead of entering the full time ministry! lol....anyways, all the links and information and advice you shared mean more to me than you know, and i'm ecstatic to be a part of this community. thanks again!!!
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35
stuck in!
by red so deep inwell, this is my first post here, and i'm kind of doing it in secret, cause i know if my parents knew of my "poisoning myself with apostates" they would not be happy at all.
anyways, my story is; i'm 17, i've been brought up "in the truth" my whole life, and now i'm starting to question the wt and christianity in general, and i have nobody to talk to about it.
i feel awkward about talking to my witness friends about it, cause i worry that if i speak out against the organazition and the wrong people (i.e; young ones around here that would never think of questioning the society) hear about it, it might result in my punishment (reproof or dfing).
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red so deep
hey, thanks alot bluesbrother and merrymagdalene!
it's kind of odd seeing how things on the other side work. the WT would have us believe that everyone in "the world" is just out for themselves and are completely incapable of showing the love and hospitality of "the brotherhood". it's very liberating to actually see that i'm far from the only who has dealt with this.
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35
stuck in!
by red so deep inwell, this is my first post here, and i'm kind of doing it in secret, cause i know if my parents knew of my "poisoning myself with apostates" they would not be happy at all.
anyways, my story is; i'm 17, i've been brought up "in the truth" my whole life, and now i'm starting to question the wt and christianity in general, and i have nobody to talk to about it.
i feel awkward about talking to my witness friends about it, cause i worry that if i speak out against the organazition and the wrong people (i.e; young ones around here that would never think of questioning the society) hear about it, it might result in my punishment (reproof or dfing).
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red so deep
well, this is my first post here, and i'm kind of doing it in secret, cause i know if my parents knew of my "poisoning myself with apostates" they would not be happy at all. anyways, my story is; i'm 17, i've been brought up "in the truth" my whole life, and now i'm starting to question the WT and christianity in general, and i have nobody to talk to about it. i feel awkward about talking to my witness friends about it, cause i worry that if i speak out against the organazition and the wrong people (i.e; young ones around here that would never THINK of questioning the society) hear about it, it might result in my punishment (reproof or DFing). i've let my parents know about my doubts and they are reasonable about my having doubts, but they don't support me researching jehovah's witnesses outside of JW literature, thus explaining why i have to be secretive about this. i was baptized when i was 11 (like i knew what i wanted to do with my life then...) and was pretty zealous up until the past few years. i've pretty much just been coasting along, giving thecratic ministy school talks every now and then, reluctantly going to meetings and out in service and the like. i've been trying to avoid attending meetings lately cause of my growing distrust of the organization due to the information i've learned about the UN involvement and the backpedalling on many issues etc..., but my parents (especially my father who's an elder in the local hall) are pretty strict on enforcing a policy of me not being allowed to go out of the house unless i go to the meeting that day. which is really difficult, because i have trouble with depression and sometimes getting out is the only way i can at least temporarily relieve that. but i digress...
anyway, i just wanted to say hi to everyone on the board and introduce myself. hopefully we'll have much to talk about!......andrew